it's sunday. usually i spend the whole day in church.
but today. i can't
when i woke up. i realised my mum was at home
i knew that it's gonna repeat itself again.
i feared the times when my mother is home.
it's always screams that enter my ear.
she ruined my mood for the whole day...
i was just telling God so many things during sermon.

i told God.
that my wish for today.
is to be free of at least 30% of housework
and that i need not cook...
cause i wanna spend sometime in my room
since my mum is at home.

went to church.
i tried to cheer myself up.
but i just can't seem to.

during sermon.
i was questioning myself...
''is it so diff to live?''
''why can't i just be born a bird?''
''why is my family like that?''
''GOd. why can't u just rapture me now?''
''why can't i just be born into a happy family??''
there's so many questions going through me...

i just felt like anything in the world can defeat me.
i held my tears back.
i tried my best.

THank u vAnn...
for trying to cheer me up...
sorry.

as i'm listening to my blog song...
i found so much meaning in it.

GOd.
come and make my heart ur home.
GOD...
I NEED U.
I NEED U.
I CAN"T STAND ON MY OWN!
GOD!!!!

i dun enjoy being at home.
i seriously dun.
I WANNA BE A BIRD AND FLY TO PLACES WHERE JOY CAN BE FOUND!
can anyone turn me into a bird???

GOd....
only u knows my situation best.
take me out of this sorrow.
u can rapture me now if u want.
i want the joy and peace back.
GOD!!!
I NEED U...